Confidence + Assertiveness + Playfulness = Sexiness

Brad

It took me a long time to figure out that attracting women has nothing to do with money, cars, houses, and little to do with physical looks (as long as you make some effort in looking after your body and wearing clothes that compliment you), but everything to do with percieved personality and percieved character!

Women want confident and assertive men; men that can be playful and chatty too! Women want sexy men!

Confidence + Assertiveness + Playfulness = Sexiness

This is a concept Spike and I have been developing for a while. It provides a useful benchmark for measuring/correcting behaviour while approaching and interacting with women. We will develop this concept much further over the coming weeks and months.

Brad

Here’s an email I received today about playful teasing:

----------------------------------------------------
Hi,

I found an article on your web page about "playfully teasing" women. Yesterday I had an amazing experience. I had a chance to meet a former Formula 1 racing driver. We had an exhibition together for some mechanical machines. My point here is, he had some serious women teasing skills, obviously gotten from the times of F1 racing. We had two hosteses to attract people and stuff so I had a perfect chance to examin what he was doing. Those two women were melting practically. I found out women are so not interested in serious normal conversation, they just need a piss-in-her-pants laugh. I could observe how they reacted and talked about him while they were away from him. It was a shock how simple stuff turned them on and serious conversation was a complete turn off and disaster.

I said this is it. I've got to find a way to learn a lot of those tricks. I found your article "playful teasing" which is talking about only teasing creates attraction not serious conversation. And that's exactly what I'm bad at. I need to learn to be funny and attraction creating.

Do you have any "book" like source that gives "hundreds" of teasing samples. This would break the ice into forcing ones mind to think like "playful teasing". Exploiting every situation to use it.

Thank you, I appreciate this a lot,
----------------------------------------------------

I’m sure, fairly soon, there’ll be many real-life examples of playfully teasing girls on this board. I'll add some soon, time permitting.

Additionally, what really is ‘playful teasing’, ‘vibing a girl’, ‘sexual communication’? Simply put, it’s FLIRTING. Women seem to naturally develop the skills to flirt with men. But, most men don’t develop these skills naturally! This has got to be related to human evolution!

So, although, different dating/pick-up/seduction 'gurus’ call it diverse terms, playfully teasing women is all about flirting with them.

Lrnny · Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 6:26 am Post subject: Need Help on CAP

Dear Brad, Need some help here. Where or waht is the bareer between cock arrogance and acceptable confidence, for example if I would just walk up and chat up with the girls after the negs when is the next move?

Cloud · Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 2:19 pm Post subject:

Can you guys give some examples of CAP in action?

|[K¡ngp!n]| · Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 7:24 pm Post subject:

hypothermya · Posted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 5:51 pm Post subject:

Here's a good example of CAP that I saw in action recently:

Some friends of mine had gone to Vegas in order to celebrate B's 21st birthday. B, at this point was a virgin, terminally shy, and while he has some funny things to say typically shuts up around girls. Fortunately B had a great wing (I have no clue if his friend was a practiced PUA or a natural) who knew his game:

1. He spots three good looking women in their 20s and confidently approaches them and introduces himself and then walks them over to our group and introduces them to B and the rest of the guys.

2. He is assertive -- while he has them in our group, he makes sure that they're engaged by asking them questions about themselves, and getting them to talk and feel comfortable around him.

3. While this is happening, he never pays one hundred percent attention to them; he makes them work for his attention. Several times during the evening, he would feign boredom (perhaps it wasn't feigned, since these girls were actually pretty boring despite being good looking) and he would make a show of walking away and complaining about being bored.

4. During the points where he wasn't playing the cat-string, he was being playful. He'd tease them about their clothes, about the beer/drinks they were ordering, and all in a way that was very "neg" oriented. He kept up a high energy personna all night, and was very high profile: along the strip he'd scream "WHO FUCKED MY DAD?!" at random intervals, and the girls ate this up. Any time when the conversation was at a lull while we were on the streets, he'd use this to reengage.

There were other techniques he was employing -- he had to spend a lot of time paying attention to the third girl in the party in order to prevent a cockblock from her, but all in all his game was good. He was able to not only hook himself up, but B as well, and B got to lose his virginity for his 21st.

Confidence, Assertiveness, Playfulness. They'll get you laid.

dorian · Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2006 6:09 am Post subject:

awesome example of CAP at work. I agree that the worst thing is regular ordinary chatting, this is just a waste of time. laughs are good and cocky funny works well. The one problem I find is to know when to go from comfort building into seduction phase, I guess it depends on the situation.
Playfulness is great way to lead into serious kino, as when you have a woman laughing like shit you can hug her or touch her much more naturaly and she will like it as you show your dominance.

regards to all.

tickler · Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2006 8:32 pm Post subject:

cockiness is awesome...
makes us wanna know why you are cocky and therefore gets us interested

Slickz · Posted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 10:18 pm Post subject:

Hey how can one be "assertive" to an HB?

smoothz · Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 12:22 am Post subject:

Is it equal parts Confidence, Assertive and Playfullness, or we gotta play with it till we each find our individual recipe? If that makes sense lol ?

Element · Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 7:10 am Post subject:

Confidence, Assertiveness, Playfulness.
That's a good way to put it.

After looking at a few of the different methods out there... David Deangelo's, Mystery's, Juggler's (not taking NLP or AMOGing in mind)... other than slight differences in emphasis or teaching styles, they all eventually point in this direction.

Asking for a specific show of the "CAPs method" is like asking for any example of a successful pickup. They all involve these elements.

You can't be afraid to approach. You can't be afraid of saying things, holding yourself back. And you can't just be serious/boring.

CAP isn't really a technique. It's just reclassifying what qualities a pick-up artist needs to have, no matter what method your using.

Of course, that's just my opinion.
If there really is a specific technique to it, do tell.

kvee · Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2007 11:34 pm Post subject:

so basically just be playful and flirty and you pretty much got it down?

Bubs · Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2007 10:40 pm Post subject:

Just ask yourself this one question if you want to get a better idea of your personality assertiveness in an interaction, and that is:

who is leading who here?
Who is in control?

Example:
Some girl says to you, "hold my bag"

a normal guy would say, "okay"...and she has made you be her servant

A PUA would say "yeh sure, what you got in here? Dont expect it all to be there when you come back Wink

"

Thats playful. You're assuming control, and you're not simply being her bitch.

-------------------------------
Another one?
you give her an option when you ask her for a date.
"So when will you be free?"

That puts the ball in her court.
not good.

Better way to put it, would be
"I want to see you but things keep cropping up. Pick a day and i'll keep it free for US" (dont say "ill keep it free for YOU")

-----------------------------
It's all about keeping the control and the lead- the assertiveness.

Obviously the leniancy comes in later, where you let things level to 50/50, because you've developed a bond together- a relationship.

But yes, nice post.
Always keep the assertion there that YOU are the one who is controlling and choosing. And she's entering YOUR world.

Demonic · Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 6:54 am Post subject:

so how exactly can you come across as cocky but not an ass?

Whenever I try to be cocky it backfires because the girls think I am an ass.

diapente · Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 11:52 pm Post subject:

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