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niceguy
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Joined: 14 Sep 2007
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Location: SD, OC, LA - So Cal.
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 Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 8:44 am Post subject: FR: Got called a player |
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This was a girl who I'd been working on for some time. She was on the backburner and finally things were getting off.
Right before the F Closer, she got some LMR and called me a player and she said she's not a slut.
Simply put, the night ended without favorable action.
Any tips? |
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Climax
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Joined: 12 Jun 2006
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Location: Wales
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| Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 9:08 am Post subject: |
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Not had that happen before but Off the top of my head id probably say something like:
"Slut!? What do you mean! Sorry im a little confused! I thought we were connecting really well! You'r just so easy to relate to and im feeling comfortable around you! Dont you feel the same!?"
Her Response
"Besides what makes you think anything is going to happen!?? Your gonna have to do a Lot more seducing to get into me pants!"!
Freeze out, start building up again, Hopefully F-Close!
Climax |
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Scent
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Joined: 06 Sep 2007
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| Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 10:37 am Post subject: |
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Need more info. Had you already K-Closed? If so, then I would have kissed her again as a good method of stopping her from talking, then smile at her. Ignore her comment about you being a player and her a slut. That's not the frame you want to be in at that stage. After a moment of not saying anything, I would lean in and whisper in her ear "I find you irresistible." and then kiss her neck.
That takes you into a whole new frame, and you can build from there. Having a conversation about who is a player and what it means to be a slut and whether it is correct to define each of you as being a player/slut is not really a place you want to be when you are tying to F-Close.
It's a shit test that you have to pass.
If you hadn't already kissed her, then that's a whole different story. It's still a shit test, but you pass this one by kissing her. I'd probably smile at her, look down at her lips, back up at here eyes and ... you know the rest. |
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dman
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Joined: 19 Nov 2006
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| Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 4:31 am Post subject: |
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| don't view it as a shit test, view it as compliment that she called you a "player" |
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kinoescalator
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Joined: 07 Nov 2007
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| Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 7:45 pm Post subject: |
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| If a girl asks if im a player i say "When im single, ABSOLUTLY!" |
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ikelove
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| Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 2:48 am Post subject: |
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who's playin who? if she knows the type of guy you are, and she still allows it to go that far, then maybe she want to be played. or maybe she's just testing you. i've been called a player alot , i usually make a joke or tell some story. anything to change the subject.  |
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adamsapple
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| Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2008 3:57 pm Post subject: |
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yeah I like scents approach!
Alot of the time when we women say "oh no i cant..im not a slut.." its because they want to, but dont want you to think they are a slut..or dont want to admit it to themselves.. its different from them saying "oh i dont want to because i dont like you in that way.." ... trust me!
and enough of this bullshit about having a connection and shit!! You guys watch too many romantic movies or something.. once a guy starts talking about sparks and feeling and connections too early on (or ever at all in some cases) the bullshit detector flies off the radar.. its cute in films and books but in real life we know that guys don't really think this or feel this, unless they are a very specific type of gentle, poetry loving, yoga practicing, flower sniffing friend-zone friend.. which some girls are into i suppose..
but we will ALWAYS know when you are just pretending to be one of these..
sorry about my massive rant from your one word! i just keep hearing about this kind of talk, and the only time when it works is when we are into you anyway, and we are flattered that you are making the effort to bullshit us.. it could make us feel wanted in a strange way i guess!!
good luck |
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Zip
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| Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 2:55 pm Post subject: |
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| adamsapple wrote: | yeah I like scents approach!
Alot of the time when we women say "oh no i cant..im not a slut.." its because they want to, but dont want you to think they are a slut..or dont want to admit it to themselves.. its different from them saying "oh i dont want to because i dont like you in that way.." ... trust me!
and enough of this bullshit about having a connection and shit!! You guys watch too many romantic movies or something.. once a guy starts talking about sparks and feeling and connections too early on (or ever at all in some cases) the bullshit detector flies off the radar.. its cute in films and books but in real life we know that guys don't really think this or feel this, unless they are a very specific type of gentle, poetry loving, yoga practicing, flower sniffing friend-zone friend.. which some girls are into i suppose..
but we will ALWAYS know when you are just pretending to be one of these..
sorry about my massive rant from your one word! i just keep hearing about this kind of talk, and the only time when it works is when we are into you anyway, and we are flattered that you are making the effort to bullshit us.. it could make us feel wanted in a strange way i guess!!
good luck |
Oh Christ, you've successfully reversed 5 years of male sensitivity progression, lol.
The key word that I agree with in your rant is "pretending." Yes, many modern, smart, quality women can absolutely smell when you are pretending to be a modern Casanova. However, if you're hypothetically in the midst of direct day game and jumping into instant rapport, you have to be emotionally and truthfully available in order for the technique to work.
When the technique is done well, it's enough to make a hard bitch like me melt and get puppy dog eyes. I don't like to admit this is possible... but it happens when someone "earns" it.
Anyway, point is, don't blanket-statement these guys with "girls don't like romance." When done well and when calibrated correctly, girls do like it. You're correct in stating that if it reeks of ulterior motive, we can smell it. |
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Nomadic1
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| Posted: Sat Apr 12, 2008 4:15 am Post subject: |
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I have only every had one woman say shes not a slut.
I pretended to looked shocked and said
"WHAT!!! YOUR NOT, God damn it, thats not what the brochure said" (Obviously said playfully) pretended to look around and said "NEXT" we were alone at my house at the time, she burst out laughing and punched me playfully, after re-escalation there was no more LMR.
But really i guess its how she says it and how you respond |
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Xargon
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| Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2008 6:21 am Post subject: |
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"The diamond between your legs is not something i wish to take from you; it's something I wish to get through before we continue to more important things."
Honestly, HONESTLY, i've never gotten LMR (which SUCKS because i have no practice, just theory) so i can only give you ideas that i've had not the chance to test yet.  |
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wickedsquirrel
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| Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 4:37 pm Post subject: |
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I think sometimes us blokes can seem too keen to get to the goodies in her nix. I like to show em that i could take it or leave it, otherwise it turns into a game of her knowing she has something you want. When things start to get heavy, the first few times i'll stop it from going too far. When things start getting heavy just stop and say something like 'i'm going to get a drink, do you want one as well?' then when you get back take things back to a less heavy stage. It shows her you can delay your own pleasure and that she hasn't got any control over you sexually. I think her stopping and saying she's not a slut is a subtle way of trying to show she's in control of sex and not you. Just a thought, I could be wrong  |
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Sutko
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Joined: 29 Jul 2008
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| Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 10:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Scent wrote: | Need more info. Had you already K-Closed? If so, then I would have kissed her again as a good method of stopping her from talking, then smile at her. Ignore her comment about you being a player and her a slut. That's not the frame you want to be in at that stage. After a moment of not saying anything, I would lean in and whisper in her ear "I find you irresistible." and then kiss her neck.
That takes you into a whole new frame, and you can build from there. Having a conversation about who is a player and what it means to be a slut and whether it is correct to define each of you as being a player/slut is not really a place you want to be when you are tying to F-Close.
It's a shit test that you have to pass.
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I like the start of this - kiss her again, whisper in her ear that you find her irresistable, and then pull away. Make her be the one to pursue you. She's obviously interested, otherwise she wouldn't be on the verge of knocking boots... but if you withdraw your entire affection, she'll want to get it back... and then some. |
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cunning linguist
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| Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 4:24 am Post subject: |
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I agree … my encounters with LMR have been legend. Before, I’d pull back and be pissed. These days, when I get LMR I like to continue kissing her slowly and tender then stop suddenly, my lips still on her mouth, rubbing the back of her neck and say “your turn.”
It doesn’t work 100% all the time but I ain’t complaining. |
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eX-O
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| Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 7:32 am Post subject: |
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| LMR bust throught use mestorymethod |
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Wired
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| Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 11:45 pm Post subject: |
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Go check your email or your myspace, or something, then wait for her to see that its funner to be with you than without.
She will come check out what your doing and then you can escalate from there. It called a Freeze-out. |
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