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OneTime
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 75
Reputation: 21.3  
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 Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 10:51 am Post subject: Telling best friends about PUA |
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So I told my best friends about this and they are worried that I will become some cocky guy. I told them this wasn't about picking up women, it's about changing my lifestyle. Was it a good idea to tell them about it? It sucks they keep saying I'm the nicest guy they know and that I should be myself. But they can't understand being myself will not better my life socially. I'm in a bit of a jam. What are some good ways of convincing my friends I will not change on them.
I already said:
It's about my self esteem and confidence.
If they were my best friends they should atleast support what I'm trying to do.
In the end the only person judging me will be myself.
I got in a huge arguement cause they don't understand the concept. |
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Demonic
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 09 Aug 2007
Posts: 53
Location: Jackson,Wyoming
Reputation: 14
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| Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 11:14 am Post subject: |
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don't worry about it, you know yourself much better then your friends know you, and you're your friends' favorite person so even if they do leave you for a little while because they don't respect your decision, they will eventually come running back to the person they truly like.
and if all else fails and they aren't your friends anymore, then it is their loss, and chances are they really weren't your friends because they did not respect your decision! 
hope that didn't sound too weird, I have been up 18 hours  |
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OneTime
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 75
Reputation: 21.3
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| Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 1:17 pm Post subject: |
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the thing is I've been friend w/ one of them for like 11 years now. So he's more like a brother to me. Actually one of my friend's g/f loves the idea. Cause she's always told me I need to open up. She gave me countless high fives after I told her about the ass grabbing incident.
There's no way they would stop being my friend or vice versa. It just sucks when you can't see eye to eye about something that can change a person's life.
If anyone else has had this same dilema feel free to add ur 2 cents. |
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Music28
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 02 Jul 2007
Posts: 48
Reputation: 7.5
votes: 1
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| Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 4:41 pm Post subject: |
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You have to be yourself! PUA is not about becoming someone else, it's about becoming a BETTER version of you.
If you try and put on an 'act' and do things that aren't you, you'll fail.
The openers, negs, routines etc. are all just a way to get a foot in the door and create attraction and value. Eventually, you have to move on from all that and into being the real you, and being confident about who you are.
You have to be congruent! Don't run routines that don't fit who you are, or they will sniff out a fake and eat you alive.
As for your friends - Tell them that you're not looking to become a whore, and lie to girls to get them to sleep with you, etc. Tell them you want to learn how to better interact with women, because you're not happy with the way that you act around them.
If you want to get better at golf, you take lessons. If you want to get better at dancing, you take lessons. No difference.
Good luck man! Hopefully your friends will come around and put your happiness above all. |
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Ido
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 08 Aug 2007
Posts: 6
Location: New Jersey
Reputation: 0.8
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| Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 5:26 pm Post subject: |
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| Music28 wrote: | You have to be yourself! PUA is not about becoming someone else, it's about becoming a BETTER version of you.
If you try and put on an 'act' and do things that aren't you, you'll fail.
The openers, negs, routines etc. are all just a way to get a foot in the door and create attraction and value. Eventually, you have to move on from all that and into being the real you, and being confident about who you are.
You have to be congruent! Don't run routines that don't fit who you are, or they will sniff out a fake and eat you alive.
As for your friends - Tell them that you're not looking to become a whore, and lie to girls to get them to sleep with you, etc. Tell them you want to learn how to better interact with women, because you're not happy with the way that you act around them.
If you want to get better at golf, you take lessons. If you want to get better at dancing, you take lessons. No difference.
Good luck man! Hopefully your friends will come around and put your happiness above all. |
That was perfectly put and I couldn't have said it better myself. Your not changing yourself completely. Your merely perfecting yourself. Your friends will respect that. Or you'll find new ones. |
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Demonic
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 09 Aug 2007
Posts: 53
Location: Jackson,Wyoming
Reputation: 14
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| Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 9:39 pm Post subject: |
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Standing Ovation to Music on this one.
I don't really know what I said because it was late at night, so try music's thing first, if that fails try mine....if that fails, you have a choice. A life with woman and other countless friends, but without your "brother". or a life without to many women or friends, but still having your best bro.
for you see you can use these skills everywhere in life, to meet guy friends, to flirt with girls, to try to get a good deal on something you want to buy, I suggest to just go with the flow.
If worst comes to worst, just hide it from you friend? say you stopped, but also tell him you will still use some of the principles to help make yoourself more happy in life. |
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OneTime
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 75
Reputation: 21.3
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| Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 10:31 am Post subject: |
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| funny you mention golf, I love golf heh. But ya that is a good analogy to use. |
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Swing
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 08 Aug 2007
Posts: 39
Reputation: 4.4
votes: 1
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| Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 12:43 pm Post subject: |
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| The problem is, as soon as you mention PUA society automatically associates it with lying to women to get in their pants, and thats not what it is at all. Explain to them that you are not lying to women that you are just learning how to open up to women. |
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VEE
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 20 Jul 2007
Posts: 69
Location: Released from the Matrix and into the real world
Reputation: 14.1
votes: 2
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| Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:46 pm Post subject: |
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man fuck them if they can't be cool with your life changing decision...
when you change you will lose a lot of friends but gain the closet ones.
some people only were my firend because i was fat back in the day and they felt more confident around me. Its like because i was insecure they could leech off it and feel good about themsleves. And as soon as i started changing they started calling me out: "oh man you changed! I don't like the way you act!" ...(i got skinny and became very social)
Even last smemester...My oneitis told me this when i got even deeper into self improvement. She was like "VEE your so different now. I don't want people like that in my life." she was saying i was mean now. I was like watever and left. I was really good friends with her in the beggining but now i could care less.
I've found that the friends that become your best life frens are the ones on the same journey...So their open and don't judge... |
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negsta
PUA Forum Addict
Joined: 08 Aug 2007
Posts: 210
Reputation: 36.8
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| Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:49 pm Post subject: |
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Welcome to the darkside...mwah ha ha.
No, seriously though, PUA is a guide to making one aspect of your life feel better.
How can your friends object to that? |
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