Joined: 18 Jan 2007 Posts: 564
Location: Sydney, Australia Reputation: 84.7 votes: 9
Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 7:33 am Post subject: The working frame of mind. - Impact
The working frame of mind.
I wanted to write something which I don't usually like to share with people, but because of the large view of this content and the replies I thought id treat you all with something very important. All this is my own work so enjoy!
Its the feelings and internal programming we have that allows us as people to function. This ties in very nicely with my approach anxiety post I made earlier located on:
One easy way to deal with anxiety is to slow right down, slow down your speaking and movements, usually you are way more hyper then the setting when that feeling is triggered.
You also have to eliminate words from your dictionary such as “sad, unhappy, need, must have, depressed, hate” and any other words that associate any type of negative, over feeling effect on your mind. (This includes swear words which you should never use in general)
So if you catch yourself saying “I need something or someone” or anything with the term “need” replace it with “id like”. “Id like something or someone”. See words have hooks, for instance being happy isn’t just being happy, it’s associated with other feelings and meanings.
Example being, you’re happy because you got excited about your friends gig, which is always interesting and heightens your state. So we have “happy” associated with “excited, interesting, and heighten mood” probably elements of your friend too, which if it’s someone you like brings up another set of feelings. So when you use negative words like “need” they bring up other feelings and emotions with them, like “wanting, longing, a challenge to be won over, a object to be desired so on”.
I remember when I was talking to my mate, and we were in class many years ago, and he wanted to go home. So he constantly said things like “Man.. I’m so bored, this is boring, far out..boring, boring, boring, lame boring” eventually listening to him bitch about how “unsatisfied” he was, (note word change) I was dragged into that same mind frame and I began to feel the same way.
So be very aware of the effects of vocabulary and wording, and pay extra attention on how you express words with your vocal tone.
Another thing I’d like to add is when you’re talking to someone, don’ t just talk and be in the zone, try to slow down a little articulate and think about your replies when you get asked. You do have time, you’re not necessarily on 30 seconds. So stop living every interaction as if it was dependant on a time limit. Make sure the words and meanings come out exactly right as you want them. Do what you want, because that’s the aim of the game, to win on your terms. For instance someone would say to me:
HB:“So what do you do?” and I could answer scripted like “well since I was very little I’ve always wanted to, ."
Or I could think a little about it and answer it depending on my inner mood, reframing to suit what i want.
Impact:“I can tell you what I don’t do, that includes cheeky brunets like yourself *nudge*”.
Also don’t be afraid to wait for her to respond, it’s not really your duty to answer all her questions or be expected to hold 90% of the conversation, you probably will end up doing that anyway with cool, leaned back stories which you will take time to slowly tell, articulate and build. (not spit out!)
Don’t feel like you can’t just wait for her to respond. You can, and you can even create awkward moments to suit you, and push her a little, if you really have to. Usually when she trys to find something to say to kill a awkward moment its a indicator that she’s interested. Most of the things she will ask probably have no significance but she will try to pick up bits and pieces depending on how you answer questions to determine secretly what type of guy you are, and she will most likely weigh the good and bad subconsciously. If you answer make sure it’s revolved around a emotional sequence or that it’s funny. Funny as in humour will cause her to feel instant small spike of attraction.
Example being;
HB:“what do you do?”
Impact:“Well I’m a ass model.. check out my ass.. really big.. oh yeah!”
Now with a involvement of “emotion sequence”.
HB:“What do you do?”
Impact:“Well since I was a little kid I’ve loved animals, I had the most interesting pet turtle when I was 3, we used to ride around all day until one day my parents had a fight and we decided to run away, me and my best buddy on the road. I sat him on my tricycle and we wandered off. At the time I lived in South Africa, so the place wasn’t all that special. We ended up hiding and building our house near a abandoned car wreck, but then my father went out looking for us, and when he found out I had run away with my little buddy he ended up on the dinner plate!, I cried for weeks, and since then I’ve always wanted to work with animals, protect and shelter them, so that’s why today I’m a wild life conservator.”
Not
HB:“what do you do?”
Impact:“I’m a gardener” or “I’m a gardener, ill have you trimmed in no time spread wide! *wink*”
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Now id like to talk to you about my own “Switch theory”, think of it as a manual gear box on a car. Allot of people try to switch from AFC – PUA, when they see a hot girl they push really hard.. “urghhhh, I have to approach, approach anxiety is kicking in argh..quick question”. Same deal with a car you switch from the first gear to the third, it will eventually get there or it may stall. So a better way is to put it in second gear, switch to being a man first.
Normal – Man – PUA
Normal mode is your everyday working and chores mode, to your Man cocky funny, confident, mode then to your PUA mode. You should never approach women with this mind frame or you will fail.
So instead of pushing through a shit load of approach anxiety and making that normal – PUA switch, just go up and say “hey, whatsup in a manly confident voice, I’ve only got a second”, in a very I’m just here for fun it doesn’t effect me wether you care or not, "Me and my friends where having a debate about or whatever else".
See the reason we kick off such high anxiety is mainly because in your mind you make the connection between 1 and 3. Which is from Zero to hero. The term PUA associates with performance, now you’ve switched from your average daily cycle of doing whatever you do at work or uni or school, to having to go onstage and perform and win over the crowd. Don’t do that! Switch from your daily work to someone who is just having fun and not expecting anything then to your performance PUA witch when you decide that she’s worth your time.
It’s very difficult to articulate the meaning of all this in plain text, but over time as you get to this point this particular thing will make more solid sense.
Another thing, “To win over a woman you need to stimulate her emotions not her logic”.
Logic:
Her:“Hi how are you”
Him:“I’m Good!”
Emotion:
Her:“Hi how are you”
Him:“Your so nosy, unbelievable *cheeky smile* shouldn’t you be in the kitchen?”
When you’re not in a PUA mind frame, and when your having a very busy day at work, give yourself permission to not look and observe or care about hot women. If you see one don’t focus your energy on her, your mind set is still in stage one, normal mode. Give yourself permission to NOT approach women.
GO out into the field and say to yourself "Today I'm not sarging or even observing, just gonna have fun, no girls tonight for me" See how it feels and the power you take for yourself. Remember that frame of mind.
Give yourself control and permission to approach women, and do it.
Just a few things I wanted to share.
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Last edited by Impact on Mon May 26, 2008 8:02 am; edited 11 times in total
"GO out into the field and say to yourself "Today I'm not sarging or even observing, just gonna have fun, no girls tonight for me" See how it feels and the power you take for yourself. Remember that frame of mind"
Nice, man!
I did that and I felt awesome!
It's very important to take a break sometimes. Its fun too when you get to watch other people goofing around!
Joined: 08 Nov 2007 Posts: 121
Location: Sydney Reputation: 40.3 votes: 2
Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 8:35 am Post subject:
quality stuff bro.. love the switch theory it made a LOT of sense and explained why i find it hard to get going sometimes. cheers for that, keep it coming man =]
i love it, when you read something and the words jump and you get that thought about when you did it right, and when you jumped the gun and didnt perform at your best.
I'm digging the post man. You seem to have a great sense of things. The only thing that I didn't take from this, though, was answering her questions of what do you do with a serious answer. I might be taking the hoop theory to an extreme, but I always try to make her answer my questions first. The reason for this is because I was all to happy to be supplicating and doing whatever she wanted in order to please her. So, I guess I am taking it to an extreme, just so I can find a good median for me. But, amazing post nonetheless.
Joined: 18 Jan 2007 Posts: 564
Location: Sydney, Australia Reputation: 84.7 votes: 9
Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 8:36 am Post subject:
Quote:
I'm digging the post man. You seem to have a great sense of things. The only thing that I didn't take from this, though, was answering her questions of what do you do with a serious answer. I might be taking the hoop theory to an extreme, but I always try to make her answer my questions first. The reason for this is because I was all to happy to be supplicating and doing whatever she wanted in order to please her. So, I guess I am taking it to an extreme, just so I can find a good median for me. But, amazing post nonetheless.
Be careful with how you calibrate it, if you keep making her answer things first, then you’ll turn out to be a looser! You should do something until she gets your that, then drop it and be normal. So if your negging her, neg her when she gets your funny and cool then cut it off. If she really wants you to answer something then just tell her, be honest with her and let her know everything in a positive cool light! If she frames you and says something refer to it in a positive manner as well.
Example:
Her: Omg you hang around those guys?
Impact: yeah they are cool aren’t they .. bla bla
It will make her mind turn to the positive slightly. Again its all about fine tuning and calibrating what you say.
*nudge*”.
