I guess this is a misconception- When a girl hugs you..

Method One

Aright well there's this girl that we will call Juicy J. Now i used to have one-itis for this Juicy J but i've been over it for a few months now, prolly half a year. Juicy J knew that i liked her for a while, and now that i don't, i'm not sure whether she knows that or not or if her knowledge of whether i like her or not is even relevent to my question.

My question is about her hugging me. Over time, i came to notice that when i liked her she would always hug me in public. And, majority of the time she would give me those full on embracing hugs. You know, where she's holding you so tight that her nipples are piercing through you? Anyways, whenever we would hang out 1 on 1, if she came over to my house or i went to hers, she never greeted me with a hug or said goodbye with a hug. Now, even when i don't like her(Whether she knows that or not, i don't know) she's giving me these big bear hugs that are always infront of people, with an occasional kiss on the cheek but she's never done this in private. So why the hell does she do it? I don't know what i am exactly to her but i feel used as if she's hugging me for show infront of other guys or somethin. An i'm not taking to it too well.

Sorry for the long write up but its just confusing. What motivates a girl to just hug you everyday she sees you, usually infront of envious guys but not show that kind of affection behind closed doors. It's stupid. She's a cool ass friend but i'd rather her not act like she loves me if she really doesn't, an just be my sexy little buddy ha ha.
Thanks for the replies.. just kinda venting

edit- I don't mean for this to make me look like some lame ass. Whether she hugs me or not i dont care, i don't honestly think a guy can get much enjoyment from a hug, but why does she hug me? I just feel like i'm being used here for some kinda twisted method of hers and its just plain fuckin weird.

Nine · Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 7:29 am Post subject:

It could be that she's manipulating you...

Or it might just be awkward. To me hugging just always seemed like something you do in front of people. I know there's no real rationalization behind this but...

I have a test. Next time you greet her one on one and she doesn't give you a kiss on the cheek just say, "What, no kiss hello?" playfully while pointing to your cheek. If she does it it's just a comfort thing and if not then you might be right about the manipulation. Now I have to warn you that while I've used that line with success several times it's never been in a situation like yours, so your mileage will vary.

Good Luck,
Nine

BigLo · Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 2:40 am Post subject:

She might be competing for your attention when out in public but when she alone with you she feels no threat of losing you to another girl. Next time she hugs you hug her then push her away and say some thing like "shows over".
It will get her interested and might be more aggressive with you. Hope this helps.

-BigLo

slyder2412 · Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 11:16 pm Post subject:

I say it's for a DHV for herself as well as social proof. When you see a guy being touchy with girls you see he has options/isn't afraid of touching women.....when you see a girl doing the same thing, i don't think there's a difference. Honestly.....she is using you as a pivot/for attention as people have stated....i suggest you neg her about being all touchy feely. But then again this type of situation may piss me off and i'd tell her flat out not to touch me.

rott · Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 3:22 am Post subject:

I think she just wants to be your friend. Use her to introduce you to other hot chicks. But forget about her - she's history.

mindheaven · Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 11:01 pm Post subject:

Not 2 disappoint you or anything but she probably just using you 2 make somebody jealous like someone she likes or her ex BF. But 2 think about it i thought it might have been the other way aorund like she hug in private but in front of people she doesnt. what i would do is tell her not 2 give me anymore hugs in public (unless you want) and then when in private see what see do and do like the other guy say and tell her 2 give you a kiss on the cheek or something like that.

Bashful · Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 6:03 am Post subject:

ive done what shes doin to u to some of my gfriends and my motive behind it was pure social value. thats me, but in your situation i think she wont hug u at yours or her place because she maybe belive that u may wanna poke her, im not referrin to da facebook poke.

my advice is to kinda evaluate the situation again, like if she ever knew u had a crush on u, how long she been doin that, etc. and post up more info. about it, it seemed kind of vague

if ur still not sure just ask her, since u say u dont care for her sexually. ud ask your friend why there acting weird, wouldnt u?

Trickey · Posted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 12:33 am Post subject:

That sounds like an IOI if ive ever heard of one. Yeah she knows you like (or liked her). She can be confident in public that you want make things awakward but what about in private?

I had a girl that ive been friends with for years one day she did the exact same thing. I hadnt seen her for a while and after 4 years of knowning this girl she kissed me on the cheek. We had never kissed before. After that we hooked up the very same night.

Maybe its Jealousy it can work to your advantage? Do you show her the attention you used to? If not ask who was around the other times. It might be that she is trying to make someone jealous or what has happened to me she is trying to ignore someone to push them away and figures if she shows intrest in a guy friend the AFC will get the message.

Weasley · Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 3:55 am Post subject:

I think hugs like the ones you're talking about are a form of kino girls use. As PUAs we know that kino is an innocent form of touching which can be used to acclimate intimacy. We also know that humans enjoy touching unrelated to sex and so things like hugs exist as publicly displayable kino. I don't think she means to be manipulating you by hugging you in public (but she might be. I don't know her) I think she just has a friendly relationship that she enjoys expressing physically. My advice: don't overthink it (even though I'm being a hypocrite and writing a long post) some girls just enjoy physical connections.

Kalel · Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 6:00 pm Post subject:

I've noticed that sometimes girls use hugs to compensate for a lack of emotional connection. They somehow think that if a friendship is failing, that a few well placed hugs will fix it. It's unconcious I think. Like they expect a certain amount of intimacy, and if its not there they force it with physical contact. I had the same thing happen to me too, and this is the best i could come up with to explain it. It sucks though because you had feelings for her and now she is sending you mixed signals.

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