Inner game problem, advice needed

Cndos · Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 6:23 pm Post subject: Inner game problem, advice needed

Yo,

I have this Fear in my inner game,
but now i know whats it all about.
It's about Social pressure.

I tell you the situation.
If i meet people that are very high social skilled,
for some reason i'm getting this fear inside of me >
they will it pick up and they will try to break through your insecurity.

This fear means > shaking hands or blush, getting nervous

I'm rlly would like to act normal by those people
but i need some advice, thanks

96Firebird · Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 7:17 pm Post subject:

So you are afraid they will exploit your weaknesses? Most people aren't mean by nature. They won't try to destroy you when first meeting you. I used to turn a little red when meeting new people, it just happens. I'd joke about it and tell them I always turn red when I smile, had my whole class believing that one last year. If they DO try to tear you up about it, don't stand for it. You have vocal cords, you can voice back and tell them they must down other people to feel beter about themselves.

jmark · Posted: Thu Nov 22, 2007 4:21 am Post subject:

I used to have the exact same problem, so I really know where you are coming from. My palms used to sweat a ton when I was feeling socially awkward. Since I was pretty much always uncomfortable, my hands were always clammy which helped feed into my awkwardness. I've really gotten over it and now those nervous twitches don't happen. You just have to tell yourself that you're the shit, and that you have all these great qualities that other guys don't have and that you have value. When you're first introduced to people right after you exchange names, transfer into a conversation, don't just sit their awkwardly. Talk about how you met whomever introduced you and some funny stories you two have had together. Take it from a guy who was always on the outside of conversation in high school. If you need something to really get your frame of mind going in the right direction, I like to throw on a ring or two before entering a social setting. It really helps ground me and I end up giving a more confident vibe off. Just talk, breathe, make jokes, and the rest will come to you. And if someone does cut you down, which if you are acting confident and alpha male, they shouldn't. But if they do, cut them right back. Just come up with a few clever lines that would put these typical people in their place. Like say a bleached blonde hair guy is giving you shit about your look, ask him how often he hits the tanning bed or what salon he goes to.

Cndos · Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2007 8:39 am Post subject:

I Lost The Battle,
but not the War ! Smile

thanks for advice
will try to use it

The Bad Guy · Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 9:07 am Post subject:

What the hell man? Stop apologizing for your existence. The only way you're going to improve is to get yourself out there, and when things go wrong, go that extra 20%. That is when you REALLY learn.

Realize the things that "highly socialized" people do, and mimic them.

flex · Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 9:00 pm Post subject:

I have read in a book about sotfware engineering that all computable choices boil down to boolean values; that is true or false, yes or no, go or not got, etc. Thinks, 5th grade math -- the "true or false table".

In this situation I guess the choice would be about being positive or negative. Well, negative is easy to do; you just sit there. Positive brings more reward, but it takes effort. Going to the health club takes time away from your day that you could be using for something else. But if you can do it, it's that's a positive.

I generally agree with the previous comments made, think positive.

Cndos · Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 8:21 pm Post subject:

Found the Solution

Was Scared of Manipulation
but now i got the tools how 2 handle it Smile

And then there was no Blushing !
its awesome Very Happy

darkme_legendary · Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 9:56 am Post subject:

Good. This is the way to do it. You go into your head and find the real problem and next you work on it until you no longer have it.

aldamn · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 3:01 pm Post subject:

I can't post a new topic because apparently I don't have 30 posts under my belt, but I thought I'd post this anyway:

So my game wasn't bad up until recently, it wasn't the greatest and I wasn't using it all the time, like all of us it needed work, but reasonable I think is a decent way to say how I was.

Then something happened. Whether it was stress or some other type of problem, I started having panic attacks very frequently whenever leaving the house. In other words - I became agoraphobic. Rather than sitting around moping about my problem, I decided that I'd do something about it as soon as possible.

Reflecting back now I think I was probably working too much on my outer game and trying to "fake it till you make it" with inner game. The reasons for the breakdown are unimportant - the solution I found is the most important thing right now.

I began searching around for different treatment options. Hypnosis to combat anxiety is helpful for the short term, but it doesn't do much to affect the long term and barely provides you with much of coping strategy, it only postpones the issue. My doctor gave me some beta blockers but I don't want to be popping 3 pills every time I have to go to the shop.

So I stumbled upon this website - livinglifetothefull.com (free treatment provided by the British NHS), it's a type of self-help known as cognitive behavioural therapy. A lot of self-help manuals are scientifically tenuous at best. This one is scientifically proven to work; if you go to see a psychiatrist about anxiety - this will be the thing they get you to do.

After about a week of trying this it's working. I know that just about everybody on this forum isn't likely to be agoraphobic, but it's not just for agoraphobia. It works for treatment of all different kinds of psychological problems. Seems that a lot of the people initially starting out the game have the same kinds of social phobia or high anxiety, possibly even depression that I've had. That's the great thing - it'll work for everyone.

So I just wanted to share that. A lot of people are posting around methods they think have helped overcome their social shyness and anxiety, but I thought I'd post information on the one treatment option that scientists and doctors recommend. It won't teach you anything about advanced sarging skills, but it'll definetley give you much better inner game. Best thing is that it's completely free and provided by the British health service. Give it a shot!

Roads · Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 9:31 pm Post subject:

CBT is a proven to reduce and eventually eliminate social anxiety. You can do it alone or with the help of a professional, and it does require discipline and persistence, but it will work over time.

The steps and procedures are remarkably similar to inner game improvement methods you see here and elsewhere online. The most important---exposure---is akin to getting field experience. The principle is the same: identify your false beliefs and show your subconscious that they are indeed false by proving that they cannot hurt you, through the use of repetition.

Cloak&Swagger · Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 9:02 pm Post subject:

It's a value problem. You see these people as having such higher value than you that they're able to see it and might exploit it. Remember that upon first meeting someone they have no way of immediately analyzing your value. The only thing that will betray your value initially is weak or submissive body language, which I bet you have.

Brag on yourself before you go out. Make a list of all the positive aspects about you that make you desirable. Remind yourself that they're people too and have probably done some embarrassing or stupid things before. You should never think about someone as having higher value than you.

findra · Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 11:56 am Post subject:

findra · Posted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 1:45 pm Post subject:

But stay away from the forums (livinglifetothefull.com) or you'll be popping pills quicker than a fat kid popping candy Wink

GameDog · Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 7:25 am Post subject: ill tell you this

most amogs you will see that do this are insecure about territory and will try to do this just for the rush you must know that the world forgives and the world forgets with extreme few exception such as hitler you could go out there naked and most people after a while will forget you must remember out there that you could and should not care what the fuck anyone else has to think about your game because it is just like preschool they will all be watchin you thinkin how cool you are for doing something

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