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Bouncer
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 16 Sep 2006
Posts: 45
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 Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 7:13 am Post subject: Reframing Your Beliefs |
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One of my favorite modivating quotes is by Alber Einstein “A problem can not be solved from the same logical level it was created.” This is completely true when dealing with pick-up. For a guy that is unsuccessful with women, chances are he doesn't know what he is doing wrong. Even if this guy knows his problem it is hard for him to change it because the problem could be deeply imbedded in his unconcious mind making it difficult to spot and change. I think the whole mind works like this.
If we want to fix something about ourselves we need to convince ourselves over and over again logically untill the unconcious mind accepts it and erases the belief that was before it. Reprogramming yourself is hard work but I do have some advise. First, always stay positive. There is a theory out there that your state of mind directly effects your body. There was a test done where they had one guy think of a very possitive and empowering thought. Then this guy's arm was pushed down and he was told to resist. Then another guy of the same strength was told to think of a negative or painful thought. When the second man under went the same experiment his resistance was a lot weaker.
The guys that crash and burn usually come in with a lot of negativity about being able to do it. Since they don't believe they can, their body follows. If their mind is nervous, their body is fidgety. All they need to fix is their mindset and then they do much better.
Staying positve when everything is going wrong can be hard to do. That is why you are soposed to rearrange your internal thoughts so that they offer you much more. For example if you just crashed and burned, don't say "Why am I such a failure?" Instead turn it possitive. "What can I do differently to prevent the same result?"
If you are a negative person it might be hard to always be able to remember to reframe something to be possitve. This is especially true if you are busy and are constantly thinking about other stuff. To overcome this you need to set a side a "power hour" or half hour where you chant positive thoughts to yourself and think back throughout the day to find situations that you can now look back on and analyse if you did or did not handle them in the best way.
I have been working on all the above mentioned points except the last one. DeAngelo says to stick with something liek this for 90days, but I am having problems remembering. I think I tried it 2.5 weeks straight but then I stopped.
If you have the dedication, you can reframe any negative belief you have about yourself. It just takes quite a bit of determination. |
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Jaxin
PUA Forum Zealot
Joined: 17 Aug 2006
Posts: 320
Location: Vancouver Canada
Reputation: 48.3
votes: 3
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| Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 1:07 pm Post subject: |
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What bouncer said above is some awsome advice.
What David Deangelo says in one of his seminars is that the best way of doing this is writing down all your limiting beliefs(i'm too bald, i'm too ugly, i'm too fat whatever just fill in the blanks for yourself)
now after this ask to yourself what is it about your limiting belief that limits you from getting girls like if your bald you might think that limits you from getting girls you want.
Now you ask tell yourself "does every guy who is bald do badly with girls", then you say "do i know anyone who is bald and can still get girls",
"is it impossible for a guy who is bald to get girls", "if i shaved off my hair and grew a goatee wouldn't i look sexy"
keep asking questions to yourself to yourslef like that and you'll get rid of those limiting beliefs. |
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JerseyPrince
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Joined: 27 Apr 2008
Posts: 18
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| Posted: Sat May 03, 2008 3:46 am Post subject: |
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| Adding onto what Jaxin said, sometimes what we think our limiting beliefs are can actually be a strength. For example, a good friend of mine thinks guys with bald heads are sexy. Another personal example, I used to have braces....I hated them and never smiled because of it. I began dating a girl who thought my braces were the hottest thing ever ( I don't know why) but any self doubts I had were tossed out the window. |
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Tigr
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 09 Jan 2008
Posts: 7
Location: Norway... yeah, it's not a myth. It's a real country.
Reputation: 1
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| Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 9:16 pm Post subject: |
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I really agree with this. It IS all about the mind. I used to be the typically "lost for all hope" AFC (not that I'm a master PUA now either, but I try my best). Then, some one year ago, I decided to make a full turnaround.
It's easier said than done, but I've learned that you really can be anything you want (exept perhaps a lotto-millionaire, but those sort of things are hard to accomplish without a teeny part luck  ), if you can convince yourself to believe it. If you want to be confident, there's no magic trick to it, you have to make yourself know and believe in that you are good/smart/charming/etc enough. |
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bijou616
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Joined: 24 Apr 2008
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 10:14 am Post subject: |
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| Great quote. Yeah...David Deangelo gave me a huge boost on my inner game. His quote, "The more personal, the more universal" really had a huge impact on me. Immediately I saw how almost everyone feels the same kinds of things as me. Also, he said that possibly the greatest discovery of mankind is evolution....It's amazing that every time you evolve, you can see things in a completely different way. |
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darkme_legendary
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 09 Jun 2008
Posts: 30
Reputation: 6.6
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 9:59 am Post subject: |
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| Jaxin wrote: | What bouncer said above is some awsome advice.
What David Deangelo says in one of his seminars is that the best way of doing this is writing down all your limiting beliefs(i'm too bald, i'm too ugly, i'm too fat whatever just fill in the blanks for yourself)
now after this ask to yourself what is it about your limiting belief that limits you from getting girls like if your bald you might think that limits you from getting girls you want.
Now you ask tell yourself "does every guy who is bald do badly with girls", then you say "do i know anyone who is bald and can still get girls",
"is it impossible for a guy who is bald to get girls", "if i shaved off my hair and grew a goatee wouldn't i look sexy"
keep asking questions to yourself to yourslef like that and you'll get rid of those limiting beliefs. |
This works in some way but it's not the best technique. There are many other that work much better. |
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