man, i just dont get it

HyphyMovement · Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 2:15 am Post subject: man, i just dont get it

whenever im with people, its just so hard for me to talk, i dont even know why =(

Everytime, people are talking and having a good time, its just default to sit back and smile or laugh at whatever that comes out of their mouths. I'm the only guy that doesn't talk.. it gets worst and worst as the convos continue..
Man..i think im hesitating to talk or something.

ugh, how do i break that? its so frustrating.

also, theres this girl in my class that keeps asking me questions. how do i continue with that? its hard for me to make a move in the classroom..

chadbaxter · Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 3:23 am Post subject:

it takes practice but you can do it. Imagine them all naked taking huge dumps, it might help.

Roads · Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 9:15 pm Post subject:

El Grande · Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 4:26 am Post subject:

I agree with roads. Getting over social shyness is easy, when you look at the big picture. Just the 1st step is really hard if you are not used to it. So take that big 1st step and once you do, you will look back and say
" damn, that was easy!"

Swany · Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 10:48 pm Post subject:

I am no expert, but I will try to help.

Whether you realize it or not, there is a lot of great things that come from being silent. People will talk more, and therefore you will learn more about them. So if you don't feel like talking, don't freak out and think you have to add things to the conversation. Pay close attention to the people around you and find out their personality.

So let's say you want to add something to a conversation. There are two types.

Simply, if you don't know what people are talking about, don't try to force yourself into a conversation. If you find yourself being too quiet, steer the conversation to something you know.

For a group:
Your main objective is to keep the conversation fun, light, and moving. That means your objective is to add, not subtract. Don't say things like "I thought his shirt was too green." That is an observation. No one cares that you observed his shirt was too green. Stay away from that. If there is a girl you are trying to impress you need to be the center of attention. Say ballsy comments, that will improve discussion. But look, the best way to add to a discussion is to talk about things you know. If you know movies, talk about movies. If people are talking about long boarding (and you have never done it), then sit back, shut up, and learn as much as you can.

One-on-One:
In a one on one conversation with a girl (for guys just don't take any shit and don't get emotional) is to make the girl feel good. Make her feel happy and make her associate you with fun. The way you do that is to be playful and ask her about herself. Girls love to talk about themselves. Questions are good. Stay away from normal questions like "how was you day?" Be original, ask questions like "If jesus was alive, would you date him?" (read that somewhere on this site i think, sorry i can't give credit).

Intensity23 · Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 7:07 am Post subject:

Do you converse with your family often? If so then just channel that relaxed conversational mood to when you are with a group of friends or strangers or pirates or whatever it may be. I recommend going up to people and asking the time, asking for directions, asking the date, asking what kind of cologne/perfume they have on, asking WHATEVER so you get used to talking to people. When you are with groups be ASSERTIVE when you speak, speak in a calm, confident voice that draws attention to you and gives you the floor. Understand that people WANT TO HEAR the things you have to say, but they cannot know that unless you speak up. Don't be afraid to engage in conversation, it is no different in person than it is online.

Swinger7 · Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 1:54 pm Post subject:

Pretend that people are there to see you. You are the center stage. What you say matters and go with it. Don't worry about making some social blunder. Smile and be happy.

SouthernSeducer · Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:47 pm Post subject: Re: man, i just dont get it

Blunt Master · Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 12:27 am Post subject:

well man in a group conversation its pretty easy once u think about it. i read this somewhere else but in a group conversation one sentence can be a lot of things to talk about... soembody might say "i went to walmart yesterday and bought a dvd player" from just that, u have many topics to talk about, walmart, dvd players, buying, yesterday, and why/when/how they went. just act slightly interested in what theyre saying and pop in a couple questions if u dont have much else to say, it works

kasabi · Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:22 am Post subject:

Agree with B master here.

Look, I'm not saying that you can't be your own psychologist but . . . actually yes, that is exactly what I'm saying. You're not going to be able to psycho-therapy your way out of this. It's much more than repeating "believe in myself!" 100 times over.

What's your favorite thing in the World? Can you talk about that for 10 minutes without any problems?

How about if you were to hang out with 4 Medical Doctors for a conversation about various treatments for atherosclerosis?

So the key is to find topic matters that you're confident with and captures the interests of others. You're not going to be the life of the party for every scenario. Take the most talented public speaker and put him in the "4 doctors meeting" above and they'll be pretty damn quiet for the entire meeting.

To increase mutual matches (your comfort + group interest), you have to get out. Take classes in "something" . . .anything. Go mountain biking, learn to change oil in your car, bake a pan of cookies, read the latest best seller . . .

The best openers and routines are at least based on some truth. That cliche'd "Hey, you see that fight outside?" opener works because I'm sure many, many people have "seen that fight outside" at one time or another in their lives. Go out and discover your own . . .

stary eyed · Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 10:38 pm Post subject:

ive found the 3 second rule applys to basic socalising as well. If your reserved and less talkative in the first few seconds of the converstation its most likely your gona hesitate for the rest of the conversation

If you pervey personality within the first few seconds not only are you going to feel condifent to talk suffiecnetly through the conversation but also attract people to ask the group questions but aimed primarliry on you.

Its all about first impressions and the first 10 seconds of the convo resounds for the whole evening.

gd luck dude!

	Replies	Author	Views	Last Post
How do I get out of the friends department?	28	narcist	4712	Fri Nov 14, 2008 5:23 am SubtleHustle
What do I SAy to and HB? What kind of line will open her up.	40	Drevon	11630	Wed Oct 29, 2008 7:09 am Wyrd
How do i do a ESP Reading	45	Quagmire	8542	Sat Oct 25, 2008 3:35 am d0nt hate
Am I too to start playin?	102	Shy1	9160	Mon Sep 22, 2008 12:54 am Kalel
How do I deal with LSE 10?	12	CollegeGuy	2821	Fri Jun 06, 2008 7:38 am Rye Lee

Terrible
Bad
Average
Good
Excellent

	Pick Up Artist Forum Home Page -> Social Shyness	All times are GMT