PHONE SILENCE. how to eliminate it?? what to say??

rain3131

i noticed last night during a phone convo that im really not that good at keeping out those awkward silences with girls who are more shy. in the past it was never a problem cuz i guess most of the girl i would talk to were very outgoing and would always have something to say or ask. this was my first phone convo with this girl. when i talked to her, she was kinda quiet and more reserved. there were a few pauses and i didnt know what to say. i finally was able to cut the convo off short saying i had to leave and it still went well but how can i be better prepared for next time? what are some things i can say or ask to fill in those gaps and make everything transition smoooothly??? other than the usual "where are you from?" and generic questions like that. got any popular phrases i can use? gimme a list! haha

thanks guys

P.I.M.P

rain3131 · Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 12:48 am Post subject:

good advice ace. that makes a lot of sense. i am usually pretty enthusiastic and outgoing on the phone and in person but the night i talked to her, she called me, and it was kinda late, i wasnt really up to talking but i tried my best.

nnn · Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 12:51 am Post subject:

You: Tell me something interesting
HB: something like what?
You: anything interesting.

nnn · Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 12:52 am Post subject:

You: Tell me something interesting
HB: something like what?
You: anything interesting.

That leaves the burden of the silence on her. You can take the conversation on from there with ease.
Easy trick if you actually get it. Use it on the phone or when you run out of words.

ace_of_spades · Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 12:58 am Post subject:

This is good. Communicates you have standards and you expect to be entertained. You're not a performing monkey.

Simple yet powerful. Gotta love it.

Rye Lee · Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 9:55 am Post subject:

1.618 · Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 9:37 pm Post subject:

You know if al else fails one of the best solutions is the easiest, HANG UP. Make an excuse and say you'll talk to them soon. It's always better for you to be the one that ends the conversation anyway. Something I'll try and do is always put something in the conversation that I'll cut off half way through. I taught Judo and Ju-jitsu for a long time and I use that as a leadership DHV so I'll mention the idea of her coming to lessons or saying you should look into it mention a few benefits make it seem interesting but wont tell her where the classes are or when. Then I'll change the subject. As long as youve interested her somewhat, if you need to end the convo youve left something half finished that she might think about later and she has an excuse to contact.

Most people haven't taught martial arts but most people have done one interesting activity and to be a good PUA it helps to have at least one interesting thing you do that will not bore people that haven't done it themselves to hear about.

Scuba diving, Break dancing, Singing/Karaoke, Ice skating, or any martial art or none extreme sport. Make it sound interesting and leave as many questions as you can and leave her an opening to join you but dont say when it is. If she asks you directly change the topic once. Pretend something just happened like you tripped over the cat and then just talk about something else like you forgot. If she asks again then it's a date, tell her you'll see her then but you need to have a shower so go, if she doesn't ask again then keep the other convo going and hang up if it dies. You've still left an opening for the next conversation.

Remember its better to have 2-3 interesting conversations of 10 mins than one 45 min convo which will run your material dry unless your well stacked and you should always leave her wanting to talk more and never let her end the conversation if possible.

II Valentine II · Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 5:00 am Post subject:

I would advise you work to re-attract her with material that interested her enough to give you her number in the first place. Or re-ignite a conversation you had when you met her without being repetitive. You could also use a funny story, pattern or routine.

Whilst ALWAYS bearing in mind the golden rule that you are the prize, not the other way round!

Do not put any emphasis on ending the call before she does if you’re nervous when running you’re phone game, so not to rush the conversation towards an abrupt end.

The only general way to have more confidence in your phone game is to work on your tone, speed & material yourself. More so in this case, your material.

DO NOT recite exactly, word for word somebody else’s material. Unless you believe it to be exactly how you would have said it yourself.

I do agree with 1.618’s comment:

MattJacks · Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 5:38 am Post subject:

waddo10 · Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 9:58 am Post subject:

Say something totally random. like "helicopter" she b like what you on about and say something like "Ive always wanted to go on a helicopter". Should get her to laugh and start talking again. shows a bit of a playful side. Dont use it to many times tho, she mite just think your a bit weird!!!

Miyagi · Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 11:34 pm Post subject:

i dunno about the whole random thing, it works on some girls but i've noticed some girls take that as weird or if your have to say random shit to start a convo that there is no spark and soon they drop you from there most frequent call list

Apollyon · Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 1:33 am Post subject:

1. Say "Did you fart? I thought I heard something in the background"
2. Say "What was that? Oh, I thought you said something"
3. Say "Do you hear crickets?"
4. Say "Sorry, my phone cut out. Can you say that again?"
5. Or you could take a word out of her conversation and expand on that.
Her "It was kind of hot today."
You "Yeah, speaking of hot, when was the last time you went swimming in the ocean?

Emolicious · Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 2:13 am Post subject:

I learned how to talk on the phone with a rock. She was a hot rock, but still she had barely anything to say and it took forever to warm her up to being conversational. As many have said, say something random. Don't have the mindset where you feel like you are fing it up by having a silence. It's her fault that she can't come up with anything fun to say so she's blessed to have someone as talkative and interesting as you on the line--that's how you should view it. I personally get bored on the phone after talking for like 10 minutes, so if she has nothing interesting to say I'll just end the conversation and go.

Miyagi · Posted: Sat May 31, 2008 7:51 am Post subject:

how do you handle when your tired of pullin random words and questions up and relating, yet when you get bored and say you wanna go she stops you and is like no wait. and i'll even say you gotta say something interesting or i'm out but it only goes so much longer and she stilldoesn't want me to leave. normally i just end up hangin up. is that necessarily the best thing to do or are there better alternatives to keep a good convo without having to hangup or hangin u p when she wants to continue talkin. sorry if none of that makes sense i've been helpin a friend move all day and i still haven't been to sleep.

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