keep the conversation going?

cupid · Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 4:50 am Post subject: keep the conversation going?

so i seem to suffer from not being able to carry on conversations. Even sometimes around my friends, i seem to just die out

I believe the main problem is due to the fact that I think "i am going to run out of stuff soon" or "this isnt interesting, and i need something better"

what the hell do people talk about for 10+ minutes? seems forever for me

I need to improve that part of my game as it suffers the most and affects my whole game i think

LesPaul · Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 3:01 am Post subject:

hey man, keeping a conversation going is a skill some get naturally and some learn. In essence u shouldn't be having that mind set. I mean if u keep thinking about what am you're going to say, ur just gunna freeze up. dont rely too much on the canned material because that is just a foundation for a conversation. Get in field more and just stay in a talkative mood ...doesn't matter about what u talk about. i mean would u rather be around a person who cant keep a conversation going..or someone who would bring up the most random topics

bandbadboy · Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 9:09 pm Post subject:

after she says something what ya gota do is "cherry pick" the conversation. meaning you pick out an important word from her sentence and talk about it. for example:
ask something about HERSELF first so that she will have something meaningful to say:
Me: how do u feel when someone looks at you and you look back and then you cant stop looking at them over and over again?
girl: omg i feel so addicted to looking that way
then you cherrypick the word "addicted" and relate it to the subject like "its also addicting to look at somebody with a unique voice"
this should help

satsugai · Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 10:08 pm Post subject:

man just keep in the right mentalty and you will do fine.plus it doesnt hurt to take some improv comedy classes or try some spontanous conversion topics instead of relying on canned matrial p.s i know this has nothing to do with the subject but good advice les pual

tsar · Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:11 pm Post subject:

talk about stuff that you are interested in unless its some boring shit like what lvl you are in World of Warcraft and stuff like that. If you find the shit interesting so will she, but you will have to use some common sense

Honved · Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 4:00 am Post subject:

I have a very similar problem, mine isn't really running out of material, but threading. Most of the convos I have have the akward silences between watever we talk about. This mostly happens after 10 minutes or so. I always try to put somthing in my opener that I can thread to, but if that doesn't work then when ever I transition it feels random and very akward.

DJ_Secret · Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 6:51 am Post subject:

4 words for all of you :- "Be a good listener." Once you master that...you yourself can carry on the convo as the lady will give you the leads as to what to say next... For example :
You:So,how was your day?
HB:nothing much...my car got a flat tyre today so I had to walk home.
AFC:(thinks what to say next) so do u like cheese?
HB: huh? (looks bored)
PUA : lol the tires seem to fall flat every time they see you... Smile

HB: lol yeah...i hate them for that.
and u carry on...get it?

Honved · Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 12:32 pm Post subject:

I think so, the same as the cherry pick that bandbadboy was talking about correct?

DJ_Secret · Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 12:43 pm Post subject:

yes.

Bidyah · Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 2:14 pm Post subject:

The "cherry pick" (also called relating) mixed in with stuff you like to talk about. Now don't bore her with football or something, but something related to your life.

blinkant · Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 3:07 pm Post subject:

I make sure I've seen the news or read a paper before I go out. Then, if you run out of things to say, you can just pull something out thats was on the news.
Chances are, she's hurd about it 2 and will relate and help get the convo moving again. Dont maker the subject to depressing though.

DJ_Secret · Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 3:11 pm Post subject:

if u can't think of anything...i have noticed Paris hilton works best in all situations...provided the girl is sane...lol Smile

Kobzya · Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 6:49 am Post subject:

To keep the convo going?

I just try to begin by leading the convo myself (Mystery always talks about giving/offering value, and giving/offering threads instead of waiting for the girl to initiate it).... From then on, actually get out of the mindset of routines, and just have a normal conversation from the responses she provides... If you actually listen and stop gawking at her breasts Razz

, you will always find summin to riff on..... Especially if you're past the attraction stage, know when to turn things down ie turn off your game and just be yourself during the conversation.

Hope this helps,

Cheers fellas

biofire · Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 8:21 am Post subject:

i had that problem, and my weaknesses were that i would think that what i had to say was too stupid and also that i wasn't able to multi thread really well.

I got out of this problem when i realised that i could say alot of things and other people would just continue the conversation with their own piece about what i say and then i could continue on, etc. Cherry picking.

Also i got better at multi-threading, like instead of finishing a story i start another one, and another one, then finish the 1st one and continuing the rest as more sprouts from them. At the end i usually have even more to talk about because i have so many branches open that i didn't even finish. It really feels like we have too much to talk about and that we connect very well.

So part of the cure i would say is to find out that if you get into that talkative mood and you say whatever comes to mind, it usually gives birth to more conversation : "the 1st 3 seconds buys the next 15 which buys the next 5 mins and then the next hour". Then when you get comfortable just speaking your mind, calibrate to find out what is interesting and what you should really not say. Then learn to multi-thread.

There's more ways out there and more techniques, but that's how i did it, and how far i am ... so far.

findra · Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 11:37 am Post subject: Re: keep the conversation going?

	Replies	Author	Views	Last Post
Phone Game	97	BackUp	18036	Wed Dec 03, 2008 3:55 am Rye Lee
Inner Game Checklist before you go out	49	Puzzle	15779	Wed Dec 03, 2008 12:00 am Sh@dy
IN the game	10	Sterlz	2663	Sat Nov 08, 2008 1:53 am Hatter
The Inner Game 2nd Meet Field Report	8	Mr Nice	2914	Wed Oct 29, 2008 3:48 am iStyle
Are you guys game?	25	Smoke	6464	Thu Dec 13, 2007 5:43 am Mr Controversy

Terrible
Bad
Average
Good
Excellent

	Pick Up Artist Forum Home Page -> Sticking Points	All times are GMT