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*olie*
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 27 Jan 2008
Posts: 101
Reputation: 33  
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 Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 6:03 pm Post subject: OK i think ive sorted myself out? (high school troubles) |
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u may have seen a old post of mine talking about this guy that was bieng a complete ass, he goes to my school he always puts me down to other people and like 2 other guys i mainly hang out with did the same i spent way too much time in there company and i ended up having really negative thoughts all the time.
recently ive stopped hanging out with them so much and i got more involved with other people and i realized that they dident like the way they acted aswell then i started to think back to what other people had said and litteraly all of he stuff theyde said about them was bad (apart from a guy who just trys to prove me wrong all the time).
i had them round my house plenty of times and it started to get really bad whenever they came round i hated most of it, they had no respect for my stuff and they kept annoying me i wanted to kick them out, i used to like it when they came round but now they took advantage of my good nature and they were getting worse at school. i was doing everything i could trying to get them to act normal around me, i made myself look more like a alpha and i acted more like one, i was trying to act like more of a leader, it was exsausting and made little diffrence.
we had this little group where we went around doing pretty dangerous stuff im not getting into but it was fun for a while untill i realized (the main purpertrator of annoyance) one of them was making danger for other people aswell and all of them dident really care about the risk of getting caught for me and they all genrally lacked most of the stuff mystery and other gurus talked about instead of helping me when people took the piss like most friends would they joined in or ran away (protecter of man).
i just realized that it was just those three people they dident seem insicure or anything but they obviosly were and i shouldent have worried about there oppinion of me so much, i was thinking they act alright to each other so surely i can get them to act like that to me but i dident really realize once there without me they just go for someone else in that group of three.
im rambling on a bit here but my point is dont just reliy on a couple of people for your social life go round talk to more people even if there boring go to a party there hosting you might find some other people that are intresting
dont care about what just one or a couple of people think about you
just genrally sociallize with a bigger number of people once youve found mentally stable people that you like then you can chose to become better friends with them.
by mentally stable i mean not insicure or got any social problems that are gonna end up coming back to you, in highschool the most mentally stable people tend to be more popular people although sometimes this is not always the case.
just so you get what i mean by mentally unstable, he would talk to me normally then start insulting me out of no where, he would do really harsh stuff out of no where , he would continuosly argue about nothing, he was obviosly trying so hard to fit in but acted like he wasent, he said really stupid stuff then treated me like i was stupid. instead of mentally unstable i would like to use a lighter phrase of sut's social undeveloped tryhards
i was thinking about exsactly why they were this way and i came up with its because they are trying so hard to fit in theyve got mixed up and they would use insults and stuff to try and look better than you they basiclly start using agressive tacticts to try and look good, i realized that they started this whole group because they were trying to find somehwere they fitted in, im guessing most people like this should be normal by the time they grow up because they will have developed alot more socially. i think this may be the main reason for bullys and things. im also thinking that people always say there are hardly any bullys and stuff in college and sixth form because theyve developed socialy enough to be stable.
im going through highschool taking in as much socially as i can to help other young people, so i hope this is only the beggining of my problems lol :')
these are just my thoughts on things so dont go crazy if something really doesent seem right, just mention it for me. |
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wakeboardr
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 35
Reputation: 4.2
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| Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 7:11 pm Post subject: |
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| Great post, I dropped all the fake friends I had in high school and met some new ones in college |
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tomtomp18
New to PUA Forum
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Posts: 21
Reputation: 5.4
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| Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 9:56 pm Post subject: |
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wow reading this post really highlighted my situation. i have a friend in our group that in a lot of ways acts like that. hes the only in our group to do it but he does it to everyone. he always makes everything a competition and be brags about things to the point where i don't even listen to his stories anymore.
its annoying and sometimes i feel that this kid really has problems, he just don't be happy for anyone, without going,"OH i did that to", or "well i could have done that but i decided it wasn't good enough for me"
example, i hooked up with his chick that i had been seeing for a while and all my freinds new i was trying do get with her pretty hard. well i finally did, and my freinds where like "yayh good job about time haha" and hes just like "ya i could have hooked up with like any of these 2 girls i met last night but i just wasn't in the mood" its like wdf
so annoying, i just talk breaks from seeing him whenever he gets bad |
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Bedrock
PUA Forum Zealot
Joined: 04 Nov 2007
Posts: 344
Location: Ohio
Reputation: 63.6
votes: 1
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| Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 11:20 pm Post subject: |
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| Yeah i definatly have a friend exactly how you described olie. I want to drop him but hes been my "best friend" since 6th grade. what do you think i should do? |
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LOCO
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 23 Oct 2007
Posts: 111
Reputation: 25.1
votes: 2
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| Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 11:51 pm Post subject: |
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I knew a kid like that in school, my 'best friend' supposedly. I didn't stick up for myself like I should've, I know that now. Nor did everyone else. But as soon I went to university I dropped him like a bad habit, and he was like an annoying ex girlfriend the way he'd try and get in touch.
I saw him for the first time in years about a year ago. At first, he was great, the same hilarious guy I remembered minus the asshole part. A week later, the asshole was back.
I dropped him again, and I came across some pictures of him online recently. He looks lonely and depressed, and I know for a fact the other kids he was tight with at school have locked him off also.
So don't worry about these chumps, basically. Stick up for yourself, lay down the law kinda thing, and if he keeps up the crap.. then it's as easy as ignoring him. |
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Qwex
PUA Forum Enthusiast
Joined: 30 Sep 2007
Posts: 88
Reputation: 35.7
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| Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 4:28 am Post subject: |
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| I remember you talking about those friends a little while back Olie. Glad you dropped them! |
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*olie*
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 27 Jan 2008
Posts: 101
Reputation: 33
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| Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 6:53 pm Post subject: |
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| Qwex wrote: | | I remember you talking about those friends a little while back Olie. Glad you dropped them! |
yeah i havent really dropped them just staying in small amount of contact with them hoping theyll grow up, a few people in highschool dont seem to grow up when they get to college because they dont seem to get enough social interaction to learn from.
just on that note have you noticed most people who leave high school early dont seem to have the same social skills as everyone else? not true in all cases but in most that is?
| wakeboardr wrote: | | Great post, I dropped all the fake friends I had in high school and met some new ones in college |
hey when your in highschool it doesent feel like there fake, youve gotta make the most of what youve got at that point in time. when your married with kids are you honestly saying that youll stay in contact with all your friends from college and onwards? they wernet fake friends? |
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*olie*
Member of PUA Forum
Joined: 27 Jan 2008
Posts: 101
Reputation: 33
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| Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2008 6:58 pm Post subject: |
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| LOCO wrote: | | So don't worry about these chumps, basically. Stick up for yourself, lay down the law kinda thing, and if he keeps up the crap.. then it's as easy as ignoring him. |
well it depends if they are your friends i would try and help him, theres always a reason why someone acts the way they do. |
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